Photo credit swinging4real
Continuing my thoughts on swinging etiquette, I thought I’d discuss another situation that could possibly cause awkwardness – at least, for me it can.
What do you do after playtime is over?
After you’ve gone through the basic “get to know you” stage (i.e. after you’ve determined that a) you’re attracted to your new playmate, and b) you’ve determined that said playmate is not an axe murderer), then generally you move to a more comfortable location and, um, get your freak on.
You have mind-blowing sex, in whatever form that takes, experience multiple orgasms, shrieks heard to the rafters.
What do you do next?
For me I usually lie back and relax, then get up for a drink, or go to spy on Rick. Sometimes I get lucky and can catch him banging another woman before they finish (watching him is a huge turn-on for me). Sometimes my play partner and I will cuddle, which usually doesn’t last long. Then we get up.
From time to time I’ve wondered what others do. Is there a better or more graceful way to end the play session?
I posed this question to some fellow swingers and here’s how they answered:
“You do what feels right: talk, play cards, play games.”
“We use the cool down period to actually get to know them.” (I LOVE this answer. I can just see it now: “You’re a great fuck. I’m Shay, by the way (extending my hand). Nice to meet you.”)
“We usually shower and go to bed!! At a club, “thank you” is sufficient. Our friends, those we have to our home or us to theirs, are very easy; we look at the clock, figure the drive time and act accordingly. Sometimes, there is a last drink, maybe even a little more playfulness, a dip in a pool or its simply, “great time, good night” accompanied by hugs. It just depends.”
“Well you could tell him, now that he has blown his nut, to get off his ass and go make you a sandwich”
“Every situation is different. Number one rule, what would you like to hear when you are done, so act accordingly. If you are not with your spouse, simply state “let’s go look for our spouses”. If you are all together, usually not everyone finishes at the same time, so you either get up and leave for a drink (or a sandwich or you watch until they are finished. If it was a good time, you can cuddle as you watch. When it is over, break the ice with something polite, or all of you get up for that sandwich. If you did not have the best of times, when your spouse is finished, just remind them you need to get up early in the morning or some excuse like that so you leave.
And if nothing else, heed this sage advice from a wise swinger:
“Just treat others as you would like to be treated”.
So I guess I’m doing ok. I try to practice the golden rule whenever possible. As a result, I’ve had mostly decent experiences, and haven’t been in too many awkward situations. Still, it’s always good to know what’s generally accepted.
Couples – how do you handle the end of play session? What are your tips?