Our experience with a unicorn last week got me thinking about how bisexuality among married women is sort of a growing trend. Especially in the swing lifestyle. Or maybe I have a heightened sensitivity to it.
Go to any swinger’s website (SDC, SLS, AFF, etc.) and read some profiles. Probably four out of five profiles feature women who like/love women. At www.anakosha.org, which I have listed under the Blogs I Follow (called “Great Resource For Swingers”), there is an e-book called “Swinging With Safety”, written back in the early 90s. The authors call the bi-girl looking for a couple “one of the great unrealistic fantasies of all.” They go on to say that, “When a couple advertises for a bi female, they are indulging in a futile fantasy 99% of the time. Why don’t they advertise for a single male? Because the male part of the couple is the eternal macho. He doesn’t want another man. No, they are looking for a single female. He may tell his partner he is doing it for her, but he is in reality setting up the whole thing for himself because he envisions having not one but two women in the sexual bed. He has the fun and excitement of watching his partner with another woman, then participate with both women himself, and he has eliminated any possible male competition.”
Remember, this was written in the 90s. I’m not sure I believe all of that, because I REALLY enjoyed playing with Angelina last week and enjoyed watching Rick play with her alone as well (albeit for just a few minutes).
The authors then go on to say that, “If your wife is truly bisexual then, guys, get together with couples. You will find bi women in the couples’ scene. You will have to share your lady with her man, but you still will have the fun of another woman and the fun of watching her with another gal. But if you really want to live with the myth that you can find another girl for you and your partner, go ahead and try. The odds are less than one in a hundred that you will succeed, and if you do, you will probably lose your wife.”
Again, I don’t I agree with all of that. Why would it be less dangerous for two married bisexual women to play with each other than it would be if a single woman played with me, or us?
I guess we’ve evolved over the past two decades. I mean, from our first foray into the lifestyle, I expected to play with women from time to time. Somehow I assumed that most, if not female swingers were at least bi-friendly. And I was right; most of the couples we’ve played with have had wives or girlfriends who wanted to play with me as much or more than they’ve wanted to play with Rick. That’s not meant as a diss on Rick, but rather a realistic assessment.
But not always; we recently came across a profile when a couple “nudged” us on the website we’re on. So when we read their profile, there they wrote something like “We’re real swingers. We are only into proper wife-swapping. We got such a laugh when we read that. “Proper wife-swapping”? Now there’s an oxymoron.
So if I play with another woman at a party or a club, does that make me bisexual? I’m attracted to women, I enjoy giving and receiving pleasure from women, but outside the context of swinging, I don’t advertise it. And when we are swinging, there has to be a fair amount of physical and mental chemistry for me to want to play with the woman.
Ultimately, I think the author is correct about one thing; the prevalence of bisexual women in the lifestyle, regardless of what your definition of bisexual may or may not be. There are a lot of them, and I hope to play with a lot more of them in the future (Rick agrees wholeheartedly)!