Last weekend Rick and I went to a house party. It was fun; a house jam-packed with people. There was a pre-party meet & greet at a local restaurant that was just as much as the party itself (a great way to kick off the evening, IMHO). But sadly, we didn’t play with anyone, because we’ve found ourselves at a fork in our swinging road and aren’t sure which road to take (or if we should just pick up the fork and take it home J ).
There were several good-looking men at this party; a few of them approached me, introduced themselves and flirted a little. One was a single man who actually introduced himself to me at the restaurant, and made the effort to do it again at the house. I was interested in playing with him, but his play partner didn’t interest Rick. And this scene has happened many times over the few years; sometimes I’m the one not that’s not interested, and sometimes it’s Rick. And sometimes it’s one of the other couple.
And therein lies the problem. We have had difficulty finding couples where The Other Guy is attracted to me, I’m attracted to him, The Other Girl is attracted to Rick, he to her, her to me and me to her. That’s SIX attractions that should be felt before anyone gets naked. And that’s happened to us maybe a half-dozen times.
So we started talking: how do we feel about playing separately? Would one of us be sitting around, twiddling our thumbs while the other was in a room fucking someone else? Would we feel awkward or learn how to just have our own fun and not worry about what the other person is doing? Would I start feeling resentful if Rick consistently found women to play with while I sat around trying to find my own playmate? Or vice versa?
We also talked about focusing on finding a unicorn, since the numbers would be in our favor. We’d just have to find one woman who appealed to both of us.
When we got into the lifestyle, it was because we wanted to experience non-monogamy together. There’s a dichotomy for ya. And it hasn’t been easy.
We haven’t reached a decision yet; if you have any insights to share, we’d love to hear them.
What about you, fellow swingers? Have you had issues with finding mutually attractive couples? How do you deal with that?