“What’s the Point of Eating Pussy?” – Your Tax Dollars at Work?

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A new study in scientific journal Evolutionary Psychology (and published in my favorite tabloid, the most excellent Daily Mail) has attempted to delve into the scientific and evolutionary reasons why men perform oral sex on women.

By polling 243 adult men in heterosexual relationships, researchers at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan, determined that men perform cunnilingus as part of a ‘mate retention tactic’ to minimize the risk of their partners’ infidelity. (Hmm….Then why is the divorce rate still so high?)

Reactions to the study have been mixed, however, with many readers criticizing the scientists for looking at all human behavior as ‘mechanic’, and for failing to ask why women perform oral sex on men, which, in scientific terms, is seemingly just as much of a  mystery. (Ya gotta give a little to get a little, right?)

In their study  titled, “Is Cunnilingus-Assisted Orgasm a Male Mate-Retention Strategy?“, the researchers hypothesized that one reason men perform oral sex on women is to increase her satisfaction with the relationship, and therefore minimize the risk of infidelity. (A big dick and a big wallet can minimize that risk too…LOL)

Another possible reason for cunnilingus is sperm retention; the study notes that previous research has found that women retain more sperm when they orgasm shortly after their partner’s ejaculation. (Am I missing something here?  I mean, how many men out there will go down on a woman after shooting his wad inside her?)

Women apparently retain more sperm in this way because a female orgasm has been shown to cause uterine contractions, ‘which pull sperm further into the reproductive tract’.

According to the study, this could be why performing oral sex on women is evolutionarily beneficial, since the retention of sperm promotes conception. (I’ll drink to that.)

Participants in the study were asked about their most recent sexual encounter with their partner, whether they performed oral sex on her, and whether she experienced an orgasm as a result.

The researchers found that the theory that cunnilingus is a sperm-retention tactic was not consistent with the results.

This was because ‘ejaculation usually does not occur in the brief time period during which orgasm might function to retain sperm’.

This ‘brief time period’, according to the  study, is one minute before and up to 45 minutes after the man ejaculates into  his partner’s vagina.

However, the research was consistent with the theory that cunnilingus is used as a mate-retention strategy.

‘Men at greater recurrent risk of sperm competition are more likely to perform cunnilingus on their partner until she  achieves orgasm,’ the study states. (Sperm competition? Is this a new show on the Spike Network?)

They concluded that ‘cunnilingus  and female orgasm may be best explained as elements of a broader male mate retention strategy, but also that a single hypothesis alone may not provide a complete explanation.’

Some readers have criticized the study altogether, deeming it ‘pointless’ and asserting that not all human behavior  needs to have a scientific reason behind it.

‘We have not just had sex for the purpose of babies for a long, long time,’ one  commenter stated on TheGloss.com,  adding as an example: “Prostitution is as old a profession as  agriculture.”(I have to add one of my favorite jokes here: It’s been said that prostitution, not advertising, is the oldest profession. Then how does a prostitute get her business? Punch line: She has to advertise.)

‘They may as well question why we can all sit civilly in a restaurant instead of scratching and snarling at anyone who seems to have more or better food than us or our direct offspring.’ (Um, then there must not be a lot of cunnilingus going on amongst the customers at Golden Corral.)

Others have questioned why the study places such an emphasis on the ‘mystery’ of the female orgasm, saying: ‘It’s no more mysterious than why we perform oral sex  on men.’

One commenter took a more humorous approach to the research: ‘If you have to ask that question, then you aren’t doing it right,’ he wrote.

Don’t you think Michael Douglas  and Catherine Zeta Jones would agree?

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  1. #1 by jb8884 on September 9, 2013 - 2:09 am

    I have frequently gone down on partners after cumming in them

    • #2 by shalynne on September 9, 2013 - 3:53 am

      Excellent! I’m sure they enjoyed that!

      • #3 by jb8884 on September 9, 2013 - 2:12 pm

        I definitely think it has to do with partner retention. As you said a big dick can increase her satisfaction and decrease chances of infidelity if you are smaller sometimes you need to get down there after if you didn’t make her cum and eat it. Guessing your husband is pretty hung?

      • #4 by shalynne on September 9, 2013 - 3:18 pm

        …blushing…well, now that you mention it, he is very nicely hung, thanks for asking. I’m not sure if it would decrease chances of infidelity, as I think reasons for infidelity usually have little to do with sex and more to do with the overall relationship. BUT, I suppose a sexually satisfied woman would have to look a little harder for reasons to up and leave her man if she was getting taken care of in bed, right? 🙂

        Thanks for reading, and for commenting!

      • #5 by jb8884 on September 9, 2013 - 3:30 pm

        No need to blush, very natural for a woman to enjoy or prefer a hung man, especially an experienced one. I think it decreases the chance of infidelity compare to getting plugged with a 4 inch pecker every night. That’s where eating pussy comes in

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