(Photo credit: http://aladythatkneels.tumblr.com/archive)
In the vanilla world, there is a misconception that swingers will fuck just about anyone; that we have no standards or boundaries. This is the furthest thing from the truth. I like to think that being involved in the lifestyle has heightened my sensitivity to my own standards of attraction, and to boundaries that I will and won’t cross. Just because my husband and I occasionally share our sexuality with others does NOT mean we will hump any and every couple we meet. There has to be something attractive about the other person(s). And by something, I don’t mean a big cock or a nice pair of tits. There has to be something about the person’s face, their sense of humor, or their intelligence to make me want to take my clothes off and share the most intimate parts of my body with him or her.
That’s where communication with your partner is KEY. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my hubby Rick and I have been meeting more people lately. He is the designated “socializer”, which means he usually makes the first online contacts with other couples. Typically I’ll scan our inbox to see who he’s contacted and what their response has been. Sometimes, I’ll say “oh yeah, I like her”, or “he’s got a nice bod,” and leave it at that.
However, I recently learned that my ambivalent responses can be confusing. There was a couple that was interested in us, but I didn’t feel a strong attraction to either of them based on their profile pics. We swapped face pics with them, and upon seeing theirs, I was immediately uninterested. But I didn’t say that. I said “meh”. Which he didn’t understand means, “I’m not fucking them,” so he continued working with the other couple to find times for us to meet. But that’s indeed what I meant. It’s one thing to meet people at parties and spend time getting to know someone even if there’s no chemistry. But it’s another thing entirely to spend time setting up drinks, dinner or whatever, fully knowing you have no intention of taking it any further. In the singles dating world, that’s accepted, but in couples dating, not so much. That’s not fair to the other couple and it makes you look like an asshole.
So ends my rant today about attraction. I want to give a shout out to harukifan over at the Swing Lifestyle Blog, whose recent post about erotic photography really got me thinking…and looking at other photography sites for ideas to class up our own swing profile. I found this one on Tumblr called “A Lady Looks Up” and it’s absolutely stunning. I mean, if you’re surfing swinger websites and looking at pictures, which would be more likely to stop and cause you to actually read their profile:
(Photo courtesy of Google images)
I’m on a mission to class things up for us online and to be more enhance our swing lifestyle by more clearly asserting what I want. The law of attraction is a powerful force, and one that should not be ignored for optimum swinging expeiences!