My hubby and I have been meeting a lot of people in recent days, at house parties, at clubs and during 2-on-2 meetups for drinks and/or dinner. It’s always fun getting to know others and swapping stories (no pun intended) about our respective swing adventures.
Lately we’ve found ourselves preferring house parties and ‘double dates’ to the swing club scene for meeting new friends. But all venues have their pros and cons; it’s up to the couple to decide which one(s) work best for you:
- Meeting another couple for drinks and/or dinner is a great way to get to know someone you have a sexual interest in, because, hey, we all gotta eat and drink, right? We have enjoyed some fun and focused conversation with other couples, discussing a variety of topics before getting down to the nitty-gritty questions like “What kind of play do you enjoy?” , “Do you play alone or as a couple?” “How Bi are you?” (Read this post to find out why that can be an important question for ladies to ask.) Discussing one’s bisexuality and other assorted kinks as you enjoy that enchilada platter might not appeal to some, but it can save a lot of frustration in the play room later on, as expectations and limits are clarified beforehand. And if all goes great at the dinner table, you can always go and play. If the chemistry just isn’t there for some reason, no harm, no foul. At least you had a nice meal with your partner and got to know two more people in the world.
- Attending a house party is a great way to meet potential playmates, but depending on the number of guests, there might be a little more pressure to play, even if you’re new or just testing the waters. A good number of party guests with plenty of places to play (ideally several bedrooms, with extra air mattresses or sofas and a bathroom or two) makes for a great evening; you can mix and mingle in the privacy of someone else’s home (or yours). If just a handful of couples are there, however, you might feel pressured into “settling” for someone who doesn’t appeal to you or your partner. At an eight-person party, if two couples immediately hit it off and you and your partner aren’t interested in the other couple, it could become an awkward situation, and I would never suggest taking one for the team. The best house parties have 20 or so guests.
- Swinger clubs are fun. Trust me, I know this. 🙂 We’ve been to some great ones. Lots of people consuming adult beverages and relaxing their inhibitions can lead to an all-out raucous night of banging sex. But we’ve found that many couples don’t initiate play until the very wee hours of the morning (Read this post) and we like to get started earlier. By the time the club contests and icebreakers are over (which are a GREAT idea, BTW, just start them earlier), lots of people have either drank too much and need to go sleep it off or have left the club entirely. The noise can be a factor as well. We went to a club in San Francisco recently that was a really cool place; very avant garde design, from the room set-ups right down to the porn shown. I’d never really seen “artistic” porn before, but apparently it does exist. The movies shown in the main room where the entrance, dance floor and bar were some of the best I’ve seen. And it became a bit distracting, believe it or not. But the music was turned up so loud it was hard to talk to the people sitting next to us, and we ultimately ended up in a group room that was much quieter and easier to talk than out on the main floor. Clubs can be a fun way for two or more couples to start the evening off with drinks and dancing before heading back to a hotel room or home for more intimate play. Which I think may be the role they start playing in our swinging.
Where do you like to meet new couples? What are your favorite places? List yours in the comment section below. We love to travel, so maybe our paths will cross!
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