5 Differences Between Couples Dating vs. Singles Dating


As half of a swinger couple trying to meet other swinger couples with the hope of making a connection that leads to a night (or more) of hot sex, I sometimes forget how much work it can be. After all, it takes a chunk of time to set up a good online profile, get the best pictures posted, wading through other profiles to see if they’re interesting, attractive, and worth pursuing. Then there are all the emails back and forth, working to find a mutually convenient date and time to meet. Once you get to the meeting place, there’s time spent talking and getting to know the other people before you can finally answer the one question all four of you are dying to have answered: “Are you fuckable?”

So, how different is dating with your partner than dating by yourself? Well, there are a few differences…

1. By the time swinger couples actually meet, they have seen naked pictures of each other. On some sites, such as Match.com, singles are usually advised to make those profile shots tasteful, not too sexy, not too trashy. You don’t want to give the wrong impression, right? But on swinger websites, users are encouraged to post the sexiest pics possible. Which usually includes lots of pussy creampie and titty shots. But for many swingers, less is actually sexier and more enticing. To learn more, check out this post from a fellow swinger on the do’s and don’ts of sexy photography.

2. The end game of the meeting, although unspoken, is finding out whether you want to fuck each other. Singles dating, for the most part, is to find a mate with whom you can have a long–term relationship. Couples dating, on the other hand, is to find two mates with whom you can have a hot and sexy swap session. Or two. Or if you really connect, maybe three.

3. In couples dating, the idea is to discover what the other couples’ kinks, turn-ons and fetishes are as soon as possible. In singles dating, those peccadillos don’t usually show up until you’ve invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship.

4. In order for couples dating to work, there has to be some attraction by all four parties. Couple A’s husband should be attracted to Couple B’s wife, and Couple B’s husband should be attracted to Couple A’s wife. Couple B’s wife should be attracted to Couple A’s husband and Couple A’s wife should be attracted to Couple B’s husband. It also helps if both wives are attracted to each other!

5. In singles dating, you have to do at least half the talking. In couples dating, one partner is usually the “Social Director”; the one who peruses the websites, finding couples to reach out via email, and sometimes, the one who does most of the talking during the initial “date”. That can be a huge relief to a partner who enjoys swapping, but isn’t necessarily a big talker.

Are there other differences in couples dating vs. singles dating? What have you noticed in your couples dating experiences? Share them in the comments below!

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  1. #1 by harukifan on April 28, 2013 - 3:41 am

    Thanks for linking to my blog on swinger profile photos! Unfortunately it looks like the link didn’t work. Here it is in case anyone’s interested: http://swinglifestyleblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/things-i-hate-about-swinger-dating-profile-photos/

    • #2 by shalynne on April 28, 2013 - 3:47 pm

      Thanks for the corrected link! I’m still working out a few kinks here. 🙂 – Shalynne

  2. #3 by harukifan on April 28, 2013 - 3:49 am

    One of the things I love about couples dating is seeing how the couples complement each other’s personalities. It’s fun when each spouse has something in common with the other’s spouse – sometimes you get to experience different aspects of the other wife/husband that you don’t get from your own spouse. And the novelty and variety are very exciting too!

    • #4 by shalynne on April 28, 2013 - 3:49 pm

      Very true – finding common ground makes for a much more fun and relaxing experience if and when you get around to playtime!

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